Melanie asks: I am 20, single and am seeing this 24-year-old guy named Adam. When we met a month ago we went on a date to go see a film, and it was obvious that we liked each other. Our second date we went to his house, watched a film and then became pals with benefits. About 20 days ago and handful of dates later, and I told him that I wanted a relationship with him because I liked him so much, and that pals with benefits wasn`t working for me anymore. His response? "I`m not looking for a relationship."

Two days ago I asked him out, but he replied quite angrily, "I already told you I don`t want a relationship!" Yet just before I asked him out he said he thought about me the day before, and that he wanted to cuddle with me even though he normally hates it.

I really want a relationship with Adam and not just a pals with benefits relationship! Is there any way I can convince him?

Bonny`s response: It`s highly unlikely that you`ll ever get more from this guy other that what you`ve already had. If you want more than pals with benefits, it`s time to end the connection and find someone who wants the same thing you do, as he`s been very clear with you that he`s not interested in anything else. Try next time you meet someone you`re attracted to and interested in to be upfront from the start about what you`re looking for. In the meantime? Forget about this guy. Don`t call, email, text or otherwise get in contact with him. Don`t reply to his obviously disrespectful requests - you don`t want just sex while he`s pushing for it - and invest your energy into meeting someone who is on the same page and respectful of your needs.